Dear Chi-chi

I have been living among you, for more or less. During such short term, I have learned many completely new different paradigms. Paradigms of right and wrong. Paradigms of friendship and betrayal. Paradigms of truth and dishonesty. Paradigms of trust and disbelieve. Paradigms of compassion and hatred. Paradigms I have not recognized ever beforehand. Paradigms of love and surrender. Those paradigms are alien to my knowledge, but still I try to be optimistic and save such corresponding paradigms for future reference.

Social life in Campus is exhausting. Will draining. Life quenching. Campus - such an exotic beauty, inhabited by most unusual community I ever know. Life here is like consuming a box of chocolate: you will never know what flavor comes next. there in campus, you will never know what problem - or gossip - awaits you the following day. =D Campus is place where there is no such thing as privacy. Place where personal life is subject to be shared by default. Place where the only thing that matter is how thing looks like, instead of the essence of the thing itself. Place where there has to be someone to be blame for something.

I assume that since the day I set my foot there, I create chain reaction that catalyzes some sort of disturbing imbalance in an already unstable equilibrium. It is like throwing small amount of natrium ore into a bucket of hot-boiling tremulous ready-to-explode water. But the reaction consumes the catalyst much too fast thus the chain reaction will culminate even sooner.

For all this time if ever I did anything that hurts your feeling or cost you something - or someone, I do apologize. Most, I assure you, happened by mistake, by no means, or simply by coincidence.

Honestly, I feel that everything is getting better recently. But still, I have to leave it. And it is better, I think, to leave while everything almost reaches its previous normal condition.

Regarding the beauty of the soil I have not completely explored, and disregarding every pain I gain during exploration attempt, it is heartbreaking to leave this beautiful-but-forsaken place so soon. I dare not hope that I will ever have chance to set my foot on this beautiful soil any again. Thank you for everything.

May on soon-arriving 1426 H Idul Fitri, our conscience become as clear as sweet-and-refreshing spring water that flows from Toba Lake.

Certainly, a part of me misses the city and, definitely, misses you.

Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin,

Sincerely yours,